Epistemysics

Some theatre each day keeps the doctor away…

Hmm

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And now I wait.

It occurs to me, reflecting now on things both said and unsaid during the interview (sometimes for the best, sometimes for the worst, sometimes I-just-can’t-tell), that I, on multiple occasions, made gestures at the desk with the computer on it (this desk being in the room that I was interviewed in).  These gestures, you see, were to indicate that I was referring to the materials I submitted – my writing samples, my filled-out questionnaire, and so on.  What occurs to me now is that I don’t actually remember – indeed, I’m pretty darn certain – said materials being on the desk.  It’s not as if my interviewer shuffled through the sheets with pen in hand, and said things like, “now I see you went here,” or “so tell me about your experience working here”.  In fact, I don’t think his hands were ever in contact with these mysterious sheets while I was in the room.

Basically, there is a chance that I was gesturing at some random point in the room completely unrelated to what I was talking about.  Like a tour guide on a bus pointing to the floor while saying “and out your windows on the left you’ll see…”

But the nerves disappeared after a minute or two, as they always tend to do.  And I quite enjoyed myself.  I often admire those on TV, or in other places where people give long-form interviews, who can give long answers to questions, wondering if I could do it myself.  I always think, “surely I’ll run out of steam”.  Apparently I have more steam than I thought, so that’s good to know.  Though, then again, I shouldn’t be surprised, because I’m quite good at filling in awkward silences in day to day life with general chit chat and whatnot.

I also found myself, at one point, saying “The Scottish Play”, even though I don’t believe in the superstitions surrounding Macbeth.  And the thing was, does an office at NIDA count as being in a theatre?  There are theatres one level down…  The problem with superstitions is that there are no definite technicalities to be explored, yes?

Something I didn’t get to say – and I may as well put it here, because I thought it quite nice in an overly-pretentious-but-somewhat-concise way, and it was one of the few things I actually prepared to say – was one of the reasons I’m writing in blank verse.  Namely, that it is a – ahem – “neoclassical response to the overextension of postmodern irony, by trying to find a new sincerity”.  Or “reclaim sincerity”.  Or “oversaturation of postmodern irony”.  Or something like that.  The idea being that what David Foster Wallace was getting at in Infinite Jest (or part of it), was that the AA slogans such as “one day at a time” and so on, even though we as an ironised (over-ironic) civilisation think them banal or stupid or too simple to mean anything…  That they actually are powerful words, and do have powerful meanings, and can mean powerful things for people.  That if we are sincere about it…  Etc, etc.  The problem being that it is hard to just be sincere plain and simple, because it is seen as sincere and therefore ironically rejected (with rolled eyes and derisive snorts), but if one either comes near-full-circle, or shortcircuits things, and writes, say, in an old form, then…  I don’t know…  Then, maybe, while the audience is distracted by the dazzle of the form, we can slip sincerity back in there  (I’m not even sure if I care about sincerity, but I don’t have a desire to write purely ironic things, so…)

But the main reason is because I like the constant tussle with the form.  Endless entertainment and experimentation.  Like a puppy made of Rubik’s cubes.  (What?)

I think it went well.  I think.

251/whatever.

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Written by epistemysics

November 25, 2013 at 1:26 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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