Epistemysics

Some theatre each day keeps the doctor away…

The Unobserved Micturition

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Life progresses.  Life goes on and on.  How many important things may happen without us noticing them!  How many important things happen that we do notice, that we feel has changed our life in some significant way, that we string together in a series of events that, in the end, will form a story that is uniquely our life.  Oh, what wonders can be sifted from the banality of regularity!  Oh, what significance can rise from paltry moments!

None of this happened today, I believe.  In fact, I think that the only thing of interest that happened today is so singularly unimportant that it may almost travel full circle the opposite way and become near-important because of how spectacularly and impressively and more-than-usually unimportant it is.  (Yikes – I’m not going to even read that sentence back, because I’m fairly sure it’s a grammatical mess.  So good luck, dear reader, good luck with trying to understand it.)

Today – and I’m not quite sure if I’m ashamed to admit this or not, but here it goes anyway – today I had an idea, one that I didn’t put into practice.  (Practice?  Practise?  I’ve never really worked that out.)  Today I thought that it might be somewhat fun if I were to drink lots of liquid (as opposed to drinking lots of bread or roast pork, apparently…), get my bladder bursting at the gut, then, positioning a set of scales in front of the toilet, void myself while standing on the scales.  That is – for those of you who may be disillusioned into thinking that this is something more glamorous than it actually is – to watch my weight drop while I urinate.  I mean, I doubt it’d be any more than 100 grams, if even that.  The main problem that I have is that the scales we have in the house are electronic, and they sort of home-in on your weight, and then flash it back at you, so it doesn’t show your weight constantly.  So, by the time I’d have unzipped or started to urinate, the scales would have already locked onto my weight, and wouldn’t update.

This is a problem I will have to solve, assuming I still want to do this tomorrow.  I’m fickle like that.

Anyway, dear reader, just thought you should know, lest you think I have my head in the clouds.  I’m just like you, dear reader.  Ordinary.  Normal.

Yeah.

314/whatever in TBOD.

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Written by epistemysics

April 10, 2013 at 2:19 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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